“From Hijabi to Hoe…”

‘From hijabi to hoe;

Your iman must have been low!”

Those are the words that I woke up to this morning. I heard my phone go off and grabbed it sleepily, wondering who could be texting me this early. It was actually a text from Facebook, notifying me of the message that my ex-husband sent me. Now keep in mind that I have not verbally spoken to this man since November 2010. The last contact I had with him at all was in December,when he messaged me to chastise me about taking off my hijab. I blocked him but apparently he created a new profile and decided to pick up right where he left. In a nutshell, I’m an apostatizing whore, alcoholic , a disgrace and lower than the dirt underneath his shoes-all because I don’t wear hijab. This man knows nothing about my life or what I do. But the fact that I show my hair to the world and no longer walk around in a black abaya is enough for him to make assumptions about my deeds and my sex life.

As I read the entirety of his message, I literally shook my head. It was all so cliched and pathetic. Certain Muslims cannot comprehend the fact that apostates are not driven by a desire to be drunk and promiscuous.  He continued ranting about how horrible I was and that even though he made mistakes he “still had his Islam” and was a better human being than me because of it. All this is coming from a man who refused to allow me to work-even though he was laid off and would not send me enough money to live off of.A man who was threatened by a pair of two-inch heels and only allowed me to wear flats in public. A man who didn’t even have the decency to tell me that he no longer wanted the marriage. A man who didn’t even follow the procedures for giving me an Islamic divorce. A man who flat out lied to me about the timing and circumstances of his conversion to Islam. A man who had a secret life as an internet extremist. This self-described strong Muslim man feels the need to harass and intimidate a woman.

I reported and blocked him(again). But his tirade got me thinking: why do some people continue to judge all women by the madonna-whore dichotomy? I mean it’s so asinine to me. Now that I choose not to walk around in a black tent, I’m an evil person? The crime of removing hijab is equivalent to being a prostitute? Why do we insist on making it black and white when there is so much gray?